It's A Collision

How things have changed! I had an old website where I kept a blog running from 2004-2005, and since those were two years of my life, I would like to preserve that blog, which records some of my thoughts from that time. Enjoy! (It's long but often entertaining.)


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April 2004


"PASSION PONDERINGS"

My viewing of Mel Gibson's "The Passion of the Christ" left me with a deeper, richer understanding of the great price Christ paid to extend salvation to the spiritually dead. A higher appreciation for the sacrifice it took to remove the barriers of sin and grant mankind access to a holy and righteous God.


My post-movie reaction was one of amazement that my Savior would not concede, but CHOOSE to endure such barbarous torture and abuse for the sake of evil-hearted, self-seeking individuals, all of whom are sinners of equal measure, and of whose existence spans every racial, generational, and geographic category; past, present, and future.

The concept that struck me with even greater intensity is that within God's vast and incomprehensible redemptive plan, He saw it pleasing and purposeful to include ME. The passion--or suffering--of Jesus Christ was not merely a result of a cruel injustice that might evoke within the heart of the viewer a sense of compassion or sympathy toward the undeserving victim, but to a recipient and beneficiator of the forgiveness and grace of His shed blood, the passion very personally demonstrates the ultimate act of Christ's sacrificial love.


Yes, it is true that Jesus suffered such physical, emotional, and spiritual affliction in general, on behalf of all mankind and, efficatiously (specifically), to all who will accept Him. Yet it is the responsibility of every believer to realize HIS OWN virtual participation in the process of His death. It was I who hammered the nails into Christ's hands and feet. At the same time, it was also I who became His victorious reward for those same nails.

Every agony He endured--every insult, every mocking, every lashing, every piercing, every step up Calvary's hill--was for me.


Pointing fingers at specific "Christ killers" or generalizing the fault of His death to the whole world certainly holds a sense of credibility. Also, we must recall that Christ's death was in God's redemptive plan long before the foundations of the world. The people who killed Him were actually carrying out God's will, whether they knew it or not! However, by neglecting to personalize the passion of Jesus, I diminish my vicarious presence among them. For them it was a physical act; for me, it was spiritual. MY SIN was inflicting Jesus during those agonizing twelve hours.


I need to spot my form among the merciless Jewish crowd, demanding crucifiction. I need to trace my name carved into His horribly beaten back at the scuring block. And at the foot of the brutal Roman cross, I must force myself to listen for my own voice sneering at the sight of His bloody, broken body.


I was there...no more than anyone else, no less than if I was alone.

Somehow--through the grief and pain that I caused the only begotten Son of Almighty God--it was my very presence fixed to the mind and heart of Jesus that eventually led Him to extend a most precious verbal expression of love, "Father, forgive them...."


The weight of my sins alone should have caused the cross to sink to the deepest dwelling of hell, but before that could happen, Jesus uttered three mighty words, "It is finished!"


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April 6, 2004


It's one of those nights when I want to do a million different things, but I just don't have the emotional strength to do anything else but listen to my Marty Goetz CD and write in here. Yet now I don't even know if I want to do that. I just want to crawl into bed and get a good rest.


God has been drawing me closer to Him lately. It's painful and refreshing at the same time. I crave His fellowship, His comfort, His presence SO much, but it almost feels overwhelming to try and maintain a relationship with one so holy. I have MUCH of my life to work on. And I fail daily. But it's not God's fault, it's mine. It's me indirectly telling Him that I want my other gods more than I want Him. Yet there are times that I have ups and downs with human relationshiops--parents, brother, friends, and others. I start out with a season when I put all my energy into the person, whoever it is, and then when I get physically, mentally, emotionally, or even spiritually exhausted, I dwindle. It goes from everything to nothing, all for entirely selfish reasons, as I can reasonably evaluate.


Inconsistency seems to be the story of my life. The only thing that is consistent is that I thrive off a single-task life. I shudder at the thought of having to multi-task. That's probably why I get frustrated with the Sweeney boys if they need help while I'm sweeping the floor. Or if one of them makes a huge mess while I'm working with one of the other boys. I feel like I have to stop what I'm doing and fix the mess before I can continue. Interruptions throw me off BIG time.


I think it's the same way with people and the events surrounding my relationships. Only if it is convenient, will I put my heart and soul into showering my attention, care, and concern on those I love. If I get busy with a new project, or if I meet a new friend, another relationship might be quickly put on the back-burner. It is hard for me to give equal attention to each person that crosses my path, no matter how much I want to. It usually makes me sound like I'm saying, "I still like you, but please take a number and get in line. If you're lucky, you'll get a Christmas card this year."


I'm extremely convicted about this—-well, of course I am, or I wouldn't be going into it at such length. I do realize that GOD is not partial like that. He has millions of people simultaneously talking to Him all day long, and yet He gives undivided attention to and time for each individual whenever they want. Amazing. I understand that He is all-powerful Deity, but the concept is true. If God can give me His full attention at the drop of a hat, surely I can be there for the people in my life. Even when I think I can't make the time or when I don't feel like it. I certainly would want all of them to be there for me when I need them.


I figure if my relationship with God is on a steady course, then perhaps my relationships with others wouldn't suffer so. Because God is so faithful to me, I need to be faithful to others. And, most importantly, faithful to God.


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May 29, 2004


I had never seen a Chonda Pierce video...until this afternoon.


Don't ya'll just LOVE that woman?! Isn't she "precious"?? LOL I'm seriously wondering if she is even more hyper than Mark...just something to think about.


I recently purchased "Have I Got a Story For You" as a Mother's Day gift for my mother. (That's the key--give gifts that YOU like, too! If we can just get everyone we know sucked into this Homecoming phenomenon, we will soon acquire the entire library of artist cds and dvds to share! LOL)


I just want to share with you the blessing/challenge I got from Chonda during the video. She had me ROFL equivalent to a week's worth of ab exercises! I love how she so effortlessly finds ways to dump it all on men! I will NEVER ask them directions again!! (I do like Krispy Kreme, after all!)


As she continued to transition from one story to another I was not prepared for the serious side of Chonda, nor the worship time at the end of the video. At one point Chonda recalls her experiences as a PK growing up and how, because they are given such high expectations by the congregation, they somtimes make it look like they KNOW the Bible cover to cover. Chonda referred to a hypothetical PK Sunday School teacher who fakes her way through a lesson.


Well, I am not a PK, but I AM a SS teacher. Right then I was totally convicted for the very fact that here it was Saturday afternoon and, although my SS materials were lying beside me on the couch, I had not yet looked at them. (I can hear the gasps!) How am I supposed to teach the kids God gave me to minister to by spending the shortest amount of time in preparation? For goodness sake, I was sitting on my tail watching a comedian when I really should be studying the background information to Elijah and King Ahab!


Alas, I did not flip off the video, but I'm glad I didn't. Chonda's story of her visit to the alleged site of Calvary and how the gospel suddenly became real to her was moving to tears.


I was alone in the house, and it was one of those days that hits me every 4 weeks or so (yeah, you know what I'm talkin' about!), upon which I feel lonely no matter how many people are around. Do you ever feel that way? God is as close as ever but, even beyond physical feelings, when we are complacent or self-reliant we blind ourselves to His presence.


In addition, I had drifted. At times I seem to get SO busy with personal projects and serving other people to the point that it takes God having to show me what I am doing for me to realize it. I never seem to learn how even good things can become bad when we don't stop to take time to listen for God. We get too caught up with ministry that we become "Marthas", forgetting that precious time with the Lord is what is really important. The Bible says that without faith, anything we try to accomplish for God is sin! And as Mr. Oswald Chambers emplores his readers, "Don't calculate without God!"


Our service to others can slowly turn into a service to oneself if consuming or of ill motive. Busyness may lead to a lack of devotion to God, which in turn, may lead to a lack of faith, trust, contentment, joy, worship, etc.


That's exactly the place I found myself in today, and this became evident watching the video. As Chonda so eloquently shared her desire for a more passionate love for Christ, saw that I needed that, too. Not only was I convicted about priorities, but I knew I had drifted from the Father over the last few days. THAT was the MAIN reason for my lonliness. It was time to come "home".


I reached the credits of Chonda's video and, even though I knew it was time to study tomorrow's SS lesson, I found I still hadn't watched the Homecoming dvd, "Freedom Band", which I purchased a few weeks ago at the Chicago concert. Man, that NEVER happens! LOL So...not really feeling up to getting off the couch quite yet (which you ladies surely must understand), I gave in. It's a holiday weekend, after all! Well, and "Freedom Band" theme goes along with Memorial Day...sort of!


Surprise, surprise, Chonda followed me along to "Freedom Band"! She must have really wanted to drive home her point! (Or maybe it was the Lord....) I laughed my way through her Chevette story and alphabetized "solo singsperation", but fell to my knees at the beginning of "What a Friend We Have In Jesus". How often do I sing those words in church and not "get it". Well let me tell you, I "got it" today! Lemme tell ya, the floodgates started flowin' again! I realized anew that even in times when we have moved away from the Lord, He is STILL our Friend, and wants us to come to Him with our griefs and burdens, whatever they may be.


How simple! But how quickly do we forget the promise of Philippians 4:6..."Be anxious for NOTHING, but in EVERYTHING by prayer and supplication (communication--what a concept!) with thanksgiving (which includes trust and contentment), let your requests (weaknesses and inadequacies as well as our cares) be made known unto God (letting Him work it out)."


Boy, did I ever go through the "entire gammet of emotion" today! lol


I know Chonda Pierce is not a regular "Homecoming Friend" but her ministry and message is the same. Thank you, Chonda, for sharing SO much more than a story. For telling me just what I needed to hear.


(BTW...I am SO ready for SS tomorrow!)


*Check out Chonda's website! http://www.chonda.org/


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June 9, 2004


I know everyone has made comments concerning the death of President Reagan, but I thought I would share my thoughts as well. Since it is actually an excerpt of a letter I wrote to "my soldier", the following is basically a product my thought process as I wrote. I was deeply touched by the events of last week. Reagan was a great leader...


I got to watch President Reagan's funeral on T.V. yesterday. I saw part of the morning cathedral ceremony (between games of Spongebob Uno and pitching ball to the kids, that is). I saw all of the sunset burial service, which was interesting.


At first I wondered, though--how many tributes does one man need, anyway? My intention is not disrespectful, but my first thought was--SENSATIONALISM. I admit I wondered if a lot of the emotional and repeated news coverage was in light of the upcoming presidential election? I'm sure I'm not the only one who wondered about that. If it's true, it's wrong. I mean, here's Reagan, a good Republican, and he seems to have died just in the nick of time. I'm not trying to be ugly, but ya know? That's how the media works a lot of the time. Maybe it's just me...or maybe it's the fact that Nixon, the last president to pass on before, although it is understandable, he certainly did not receive such tribute as Reagan has.


I was too little to remember a lot about Reagan, other than what I've since read, but I know he contributed plenty to this nation. The end of the Cold War, the anti-communist campaigns for the Soviet Union, etc. He was an honest man with a unique charismatic relationship with the people, which has yet to be duplicated. I guess I have come to the conclusion that, whether or not it was a plug for the Republican party, the tribute he received is the way it is supposed to be! It's all about HONOR and RESPECT, and that's what I saw on T.V. last night. I don't know if you get American reception on T.V. where you are at, but I heard it said that there were a couple Arab stations that aired the ceremonies. Whoever watched will have gotten to see how Americans treat their fallen. It's a powerful statement, nonetheless.


I don't know why it has never hit me before, but watching the military pomp and ceremonial drills during the funeral made me think of what it might be like in heaven. I mean, President Reagan deserved to be saluted and honored, if not for all the good he accomplished on the behalf of this nation and world, but because of his position--who he was; namely, President of the United States of America. That's an honorable title! That means we continued to give respect even to President Clinton, despite his wrongdoings for the very fact that he was the leader of our country! The Bible tells us we need to obey those in authority over us, EVEN if they fail and make poor choices. They have received that authority, and for that reason alone we must obey them.


It's the same way with Almighty God, is it not? Certainly we know that God is holy and just and righteous in all His acts. He never makes mistakes and uses His infinte wisdom and power to carry out His perfect will. We do not have to question His actions. But for the very fact that God is GOD should cause us to fall prostrate to the ground in humble reverence and respect. It is because of WHO HE IS that we must worship Him and offer Him praise. God is the Creator and sustainer of the universe, He is infinite and all-knowing! He is the perfect example of love, and that attribute radiates from the fact that He designed the redemption process even before the creation of those who would reject that plan. Such amazing love in itself is reason enough for worship. A God that is entirely loving and yet entirely just at the same time deserves far more honor than a fallen president could ever receive. Even if God chose to never save a soul, He would still be worthy of honor.


My favorite part of the the ceremonies yesterday was the music. The Army band and the Army choir. It was incredible to hear "Hail to the Chief" and "Amazing Grace" and "Taps" and all the sights and sounds of the cannons and gun shots, the voices, the trumpets, the bag pipes, the perfectly timed steps of the military pall-barers--it just takes your breath away! I mean I got goosebumps from my head to my toes!


That is something all of you servicemen seem to understand better than the rest of us civilians: the true meaning of honor and respect. I was just overcome with the thought that if the band and choir sounds this good here on earth--and for a human national leader--I can hardly fathom what the ceremony will be like in Glory! The great Praise and Worship service in the literal presence of the King of Kings and the Lord of Lords!! I love that old gospel song, "When All of God's Singers Get Home" because it speaks of that amazing fact that ALL of us are crucial voices in the saints' choir. We will ALL get to join in the ultimate tribute to the ultimate Leader. And we will not be wearing black or holding hankies. We will not be paying our respects to the death of a great man...we will be celebrating the awesome greatness of our LIVING Savior! Now THAT will render us breathless!


There was a lot of referencing to the fact that Reagan was a "privately but very deeply religious" man. Both Bush Sr. and Jr. alluded to this, as well as Reagan's son, Michael, who is an openly born-again Christian. (Actually, I caught the tail end of a previously recorded interview between Michael Reagan and Dr. James Dobson yesterday on "Focus On the Family" radio. The recording had to be at least a couple years old.) Anyway, I was taken aback (but probably shouldn't have been) when Reagan's son Ron mentioned that his father "didn't wear his faith on his sleeve the way certain politicians do today." I about had a fit if he weas referring to President Bush! (However, I have just read into his speech too much...but it sounded like a political statement to me.) If Reagan was a Christan, that's great, but if anyone is offended by Bush's outspoken faith, that's their problem. This was a funeral, for goodness sake.... Personally, I would much rather have a man in the oval office who seeks the face of God daily and prays not only for his allies, but for his enemies as well (whether in public OR private, that's not what matters) than one who doesn't. I'd rather have a President who askes for Divine wisdom rather than a President who bases his decisions on his own wisdom and discernment. (I am speaking hypothetically, of course!)

I don't want to get all political now.....but I guess it's too late, huh! LOL Call me bi-partisan, if you like. I believe there are pros and cons with both parties, but quote me on this: I will ALWAYS side with godliness, morality, and integrity!


"I don't know anything about politics...but that's never stopped me from having an opinion..." -Mark Lowry (Isn't that the truth for the majority of the American people?!)

I really enjoyed listening to the eulogies of Reagan's children. I love hearing stories about the TRUE family life of public figures--from the firsthand source. Otherwise you don't know which rumors to believe anymore! A couple years back I read the book of compiled love letters Reagan wrote his wife over the years. He was an extremely deep man. Yet after funerals like that I have to swiftly turn off the T.V. because I tend to cry at just about anything sentimental like that! I have to snap myself back to reality. It IS sad--but life goes on. The important thing is that if Reagan indeed trusted Christ in his lifetime, then what our current president said is true--no longer does he see through a glass darkly, but he is viewing for the first time and with the clearest vision the very face of teh Lamb slain for his redemption. He sees his Savior face to face and is more himself than he has ever been before. It's party time!!!


Can you imagine where this nation would be had Reagan's assassination been successful...if that bullet had inched any closer to his heart and if his funeral had instead been 23 years ago?? Even he himself recognized that he had been spared for God's reasons, and he intended to carry out whatever it was he was called to do. It amazes me how just one single person has the potential for affecting an entire nation--or even world--positively OR negatively. Then I am amazed that such individuals are not limited to those in the presidency or public eye. They include each of us...they include you and me.


When you were little, did your parents ever teach you to give an automatic response to a question they posed, so to show off your "brilliance" whenever in the presence of relatives? Like, they would teach you to spell "Mississippi" even though you couldn't yet read, let alone did you understand what it meant! Or they would make you spew the correct answer to some difficult mathematical question to the pride of your math teacher uncle (and I had one!). Things like that. Well, when I was two years old my dad would always ask me the same two questions whenever we would visit my aunt and uncle. He would say, "Tara, whose favorite food is...peanuts?" to which I'd smile and screech, "JIMMY CARTER!" Then he would say, "Whose favorite food is...jelly beans?" and before he could say the word "beans" I'd belt out, "RONNIE REAGAN!" My aunt, apparently, got a kick out of that. I hardly even remembered it! My dad reminded me last night.


Ya know, we hear the word "hero" a lot these days. "So-and-so" was a hero for overcoming cancer. "So-and-so" was a hero for capturing Sadam Hussein. "So-and-so" was a hero for his bravery on 9-11. "So-and-so was a hero for sacrificing his life on an Iraqi battlefield. What does that word mean, anyway? What does it reflect about a person? Well, after pondering its usage, trying to come up with a definition, a particular Scripture came to mind. Philippians 4:13 says, "I can do all things THROUGH CHRIST who strengthens me." Because empowering strength comes from God, then ultimately, HE gets the glory for any "heroic" act achieved by an individual. So to say somebody is a hero is to say they fulfilled a task they were called to carry out by drawing their strength from God. Otherwise, I suppose, it's just a term of vanity. Who are we but earthen vessels...

Since we have heard from numerous eulogies on Reagan's life, it is clear that his strength lay in the arms of his powerful God. In that vein, we salute him as a hero.


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June 11, 2004


I'm in the middle of reading Rick Warren's, A Purpose Driven Life. My dad ordered it through this one church and they gave it to him for free! So I stole it from him for a while, and it's really good. The basic theme of the book is a biblical discussion on life's purpose and meaning, beginning with God and His reasons for creating us. (By God and for God.) It's a pretty good read.


We find fulfillment in serving God, and one of those means is by serving others. Matthew 25:40 says, this about service to others, "And the King shall answer and say unto them, 'Truly I say unto you, inasmuch as much as you have done it unto the least of these my brethren, you have done it unto me.'" That means if I choose to act selfishly or unfairly or spitefully, etc. towards an individual, I have done it unto Christ. If I treat others with kindness and generocity and patience, etc. I have done it unto Christ. I need this reminder more often.


It is comforting to know that God's purpose for me rises far above my weaknesses and inadequacies. Otherwise the moment God saved me He might as well have taken me to heaven right then and there, because I would be no use to Him on my own down here! But that is exactly why I AM still here. God wouldn't be cruel enough to leave His children in this sin-infested war zone (physically AND spiritually) just to torture us. No--I must live for something greater than this world, than living for myself.


That's why I must utilize each new day He gives me to serve God and His purposes. Just to know that my life has the potential to count for eternity gives me teriffic motivation to strive toward accomplishing whatever God places in front of me. Whether that be sharing the message of Christ to those whom He loves, whether that be visiting the elderly in nursing facilities, donating money to the poor, or merely wiping the runny nose of a five-year-old little boy...it is an honor and a joy to serve the Lord. If it's not, it should be. Whenever I find my task undesirable and NOT joyful, I have to readjust my attitude: Am I really serving Him or am I serving myself? Am I living for this life or living for the one to come? Once I come to grips with my purpose on this earth, life instantly takes on a whole new perspective.



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June 12, 2004


I am still working my way through The Purpose Driven Life. I am finding how easy it is for me to get sidetracked to living my life without regard to God. It only takes a difficult situation or any kind of failure to bring me back to where I should be. It is SO reassuring to know that God has given us abilities not to use for ourselves, but to fulfill his unique and heavenly calling for our lives. Some days I feel like I'm just floating on through and life is good. But God doesn't want me to settle with a "good life". I'm reminded of a new "Mercy Me" song, which says,


"You put me here for a reason / You have a mission for me / You knew my name and You called it / Long before I learned to breathe / Sometimes I feel disappointed / By the way I spend my time / How can I further Your Kingdom / When I'm so wrapped up in mine?

And although I'm living a good life / Can my life be something great? / I have to answer the question before it's too late. / If I give the very best of me / That becomes my legacy / So tell me what am I waiting for? /What am I waiting for?


In a blink of an eye that's when / I'll be closer to You than I've ever been / Time will fly, but until then / I'll embrace every moment I'm given / There's a reason I'm alive for a blink of an eye."


We find fulfillment ONLY in living for and serving God. Back in December I sat down and wrote out a list of things I need to work on (regardless of whether I WANT to work on them or not...that would cut it down big time!) I thought, you know, five or ten character qualities or spiritual areas where I am most week, no big deal. Nope.....43 items later...and counting...I'm going, "God, why don't we just start from scratch! Maybe I'll do better this go around!" But no such luck...so I just kept on writing. The list covered an antire notebook page front and back, margins and all. Then I figured, well, I'm at the end of the page, I've run out of room. I guess that's it! Yeah right! I probably could fill volumes worth of things I need to work on! I'm certainly glad God tells me "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me" because I fail SO often! I stashed that list away for months...too scared to look at it for fear that I might actually have to DO something! Heaven forbid! LOL But after starting The Purpose Driven Life I forced myself to take it out and study it. That's easy. The hard part is when I wake up tomorrow morning and have to put them into practice!


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June 18, 2004


Breaking news Al Arabiya TV: Al Queda militants behead U.S. hostage Paul Johnson. CNN working to confirm as of now.


My Christian radio station, KTIS, is playing Wayne Watson's song, "For Such a Time As This". It is very appropriate in these circumstances. May we all be willing to lay down our lives, not only for the cause of our country, but for the cause of Christ. This has been a challenge to me, as God's servant.


Life is over in the blink of an eye...can I say I lived it for Him?? I pray that I may be able to claim these words of the apostle Paul, who was eventually martyred for His service to His Lord and King. From a persecutor and killer of God's people to a willing sacrifice for God's glory, may my testimony prove as unwavering and steadfast....


"According to my earnest expectation and my hope, that in nothing I shall be ashamed, but that with all boldness, as always, so now also Christ shall be magnified in my body, whether it be by life or by death" (Philippians 1:20).



FOR SUCH A TIME AS THIS
from "The Way Home"

written by Wayne Watson



Now, all I have is now
To be faithful
To be holy
And to shine
Lighting up the darkness
Right now, I really have no choice
But to voice the truth to the nations
A generation looking for God

CHORUS
For such a times as this
I was placed upon the earth
To hear the voice of God
And do His will
Whatever it is
For such a time as this
For now and all the days He gives
I am here, I am here
And I am His
For such a time as this

You--do you ever wonder why
Seems like the grass is always greener
Under everybody else's sky
But right here, right here for this time and place
You can live a mirror of His mercy
A forgiven image of His grace


Chorus


Can't change what's happened till now
But we can change what will be
By liveing in holiness
That the world will see Jesus


Chorus



*Copyright 1999 by Salem Music Networks, Inc., a division of Salem Communications Corporation



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June 22, 2004


Arghhhh! I just finished getting ready for a date night! This is the second time I've gotten together with this guy. His name is Matt...funny because I dated a Matt last summer, too! We went on a semi-blind date last Tuesday, and now we're going to this Itallian restaurant in town. Which is good, too, 'cause I'm hungry! I'm more nervous, too, though. The first date was fine, but it the first time we met. The jitters are different tonight, but I'm not really sure why. He's good looking, friendly, we find a lot to talk about, and we are right on as far as our beliefs go. He actually attends the church I went to as a little kid! Kind of eery, huh!


I guess I'm open minded about tonight. Actually the last time I saw him I didn't think he'd call me ever, but then he called the next day, which blew me away! The REALLY ironic thing is that our date last week was to an Allen Asbury concert, which was incredible!!! (Allen Asbury sings "Someone's Praying Me Through".) The thing is, Matt doesn't really like music! I couldn't believe it! I mean, he doesn't mind it, but it's not really his thing. I've never met anyone who dislikes music. Actually, let me re-phrase that, I've never met a Christian that dislikes music. And if you can't tell by now, music is a huge part of MY life. Ok, maybe I'm weird, but sometimes I can't help but just...singing...whatever and wherever, like when I'm excited or joyful or thankful, or something like that. That's just me.


So anyway, I had to talk to someone (or something! LOL) because he won't be here for another half hour. I wish I could just skip this whole dating "thing". It's kind of annoying. I mean, I haven't had a lot of relationships in my life, just casual dates and one I guess you could call "official" relationships, and even that didn't really feel like we were dating. We didn't end the relationship that long ago, either. I was the one who broke things off just because I was fine dating him, but I just couldn't see myself living with him for the rest of my life. Like, the "sparks" weren't flyin' or whatever.


I wish there was a guy out there who's not necessarily Mr. STUD or He-Man or anything, but one who knows BOTH how to have fun and when to be serious. Let me tell you, Christians can have the best fun sometimes! I'm really crazy, but you probably already know that from reading all this! LOL I do like to have deep, meaningful conversations, but I also like to joke around and tease big time (it's my upbringing!). Somebody REAL. Who is honest and open and laid back and sincere and can express his thoughts and feelings. Somebody who loves the Lord and can be the spiritual leader in the relationship, but who is on the same level as I am. I can't say I've found that person yet. I KNOW I wasn't ready for a relationship when I was in high school (every situation is different), but I wish God would just drop my man out of the sky. But He's making me wait. Patience is hard sometimes. But...I have a God who is faithful.


There's a verse in Psalms that says, "Delight yourself also in the Lord: and He shall give you the desires of your heart" (Psalm 37:4). Well we single gals used to believe that verse meant that if we prayed hard enough and sang loud enough God would give us what we want. A name it and claim it philosophy. Leave it to women! Well having studied that verse I have come to believe that as I continue to get to know my Lord and Savior (through spending time in His Word and in prayer) I will begin to understand the things God desires....which, in turn, will become my desires IF my goal is to please Him--to "delight" in Him. So right now either I'm not delighting in the Lord, or I have not made His desires my desires.


Wow, I didn't realize how much I needed reminding of that verse until I began writing it out right now. One thing I know I need to work on (which also made my "list" is trust. When I want something, I have a tendency to try to make it work, to achieve it or acquire it...on my own. It is only after my attempts fail that I realize I forgot to pray about it first. With God there are no big or small issues in our lives. He wants us to come to Him before making ANY decision or stepping out to do ANYTHING. Proverbs 3:5-6 is a life verse for a lot of people I know. It is a good verse. It says, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart; and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths." That doesn't mean I don't plan or set goals. But I need to first surrender those plans and goals to the Lord, willing to be re-directed should doors close. Well there have been far too many paths I've directed on my own without any thought to what God might want me to do! This is a hard lesson for me to learn, and I think for everyone, or so many people wouldn't claim it as their life verse. (I don't actually have a life verse...but I do have favorite passages that really speak to me.)


Even with relationships. Sure, I want to get married and have a family. But today that's not what God wants for me. (Unless tonight is the start down that road! lol) God has a purpose for me in every season of my life, even as I'm single. I just need to keep trusting in the Lord with all my heart and not trying to lean on MY understanding when I face disappiontment or feel impatient. When that is the case, I usually discover that I have not acknowledged Him and am not allowing Him to direct my path, even in this one part of my life. It is amazing how much more smoothly I can handle things when I have first layed them at the feet of Jesus! Not to mean the problems disappear, but He always gives me the peace and the ability to trust Him when I have no idea what He is up to. Someone once said that there is no such thing as an unanswered prayer. God ALWAYS answers immediately with one of three words, YES, NO, or WAIT. I'll take a yes or a no over a wait anytime! But it's during those periods of waiting when I find that my faith increases the most. I learn to trust His timing and perfect ways, and to live for something more than instant gratification. God certainly knows what He's doing, and I am so grateful, because there are many times when I do not!!!


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February 2005


It must be a Saturday morning thing. Maybe that's because it's the only time I seem to get by myself to reflect and to plainly THINK. Or maybe I'm so "busy" (a.k.a., preoccupied with catering to my own needs) during the work week that the weekend is the only time I actually get to delve into the truths of Scripture beyond "daily devotionals".


It must be both but, at any rate, this Saturday morning routine has become a necessity…a recharging of my "spiritual battery", so to speak. It is during this time of reading, reflection, and prayer that I renew my commitment toward living each moment as the Bible calls me to live. It is during this time I tend to deeply contemplate my weaknesses, struggles, and failures (which are overwhelmingly numerous), usually in light of the previous week. Then I consider ways I need to change my thinking, decision-making, responses, motives, actions, attitudes, priorities, habits, interactions with others, etc.

It was only when I began to take the time to seriously invest in my weekly Sunday School lessons that I started to realize that the truths I am teaching my students are the very truths I desperately and INITIALLY need to be implementing in my own life BEFORE I begin to even try to challenge anyone else with them. If I want my teaching to be used by God in the lives of others, I have realized that it is I who must first heed the lesson.

And not only does this involve time, but lots of effort and usually a moderate amount of sacrifice of some sort, too. And that's typically not desirable nor easy. But I really believe that to teach, one must first be willing to learn.


Even though I naturally do not think myself to be a super effective teacher, it that is actually an accurate assessment of my abilities in teaching. It's where I NEED to be in my thinking for God's strength to be made perfect in my weakness. I must never reach a place of arrogance, yet I cannot back out of or become lazy in ministry, simply because I don't believe I have what it takes. I don't. But God does!


My Saturday morning reflections have also taken me to evaluate where I am headed and if the situations in which I have chosen to currently place myself are, are proving to encourage me in my present work for God—such as helping to prepare me for the roles God has for me down the road, and allowing my life and testimony to be a lighthouse for the lost in my workplace, and to determine if these situations are a result of wanting to follow God's will and do His work at all.


Do the decisions I make revolve around earthly desires, or heavenly ones? Have the consequences of those decisions affirmed selfish motivations, hopes, and dreams, or affirmed God's divine purposes for my life? Have these consequences proven spiritually maturing in my life, or spiritually depleting? Have I grown as a result of the godly edification, or as a result of mistakes made? Am I actively seeking God's will in the face of decisions, or do my choices reflect hasty decision-making processes based on non-biblical support? Can I truly say that I am allowing God to use my life based not only on His grace, but upon godly decisions I make each day; or, rather, am I merely floating down life's path, trying only to make it through another day? In other words, am I actively SEEKING to glorify God with my life, or am I passively living my life for myself….hoping in vain that I will somehow accomplish great things for God?


These are just SOME of the questions that serve as a type of "spiritual surgery" as I continue to take in spiritual nourishment from God's Word and other biblically-based writings. And, once my cream cheese bagel is devoured, my medium mint condition has increased my heart rate and jump-started my senses, I seem to keep coming to the same conclusions on the above topics—the same answers and identical solutions. And that is simply, to apply what God is revealing to me through His Word on Saturday and Sunday mornings, and to apply it the rest of the week and beyond. Not only that, but to SEEK OUT that same opportunity to JUST AS richly feed on God's Word each time I open it. To give God first priority in ALL of life, not just when it is convenient, as in my typical Saturday morning. I am not guaranteed that time every weekend. So I need to MAKE time for it, while avoiding going through the "Christian" motions to feel I've done my duty for the day. Nobody can trade spending quality time in God's presence for a superficial "checklist" and expect to grow spiritually! That is legalism, and I must not do it!


Instead, I must learn to live as Christ EVERY moment, and to acknowledge His presence in EVERY aspect of my life. I must live for HIM instead of myself and for my comfort. I must learn to die to myself when I MOST want to protest, or compromise my faith, or act on fleshly desires and depend on human reasoning. I must do good, but out of a pure motive to please and honor God, not to lift up or showcase anything in and of myself. And I must strive to fulfill God's purpose for my life—to love Him, love others, to recognize a need and a cry for help even when it is not so evident, to go the extra mile when I am exhausted, to continually perfect my God-given skills and abilities and then actually USE them to turn others to Christ, to be sincere in showing the love of God to others so that it automatically spills from my life instead of just when I feel compelled to share it with others. Etc., etc., etc.


These purposes are often difficult for a heart unyielding to the God's Word and His Spirit, but this is my renewed mission.



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"IN A DIFFERENT LIGHT"


I just love it when God chooses to show Himself real in tangible ways. As Christians we understand that He is always with His children, but there are certain times when I neglect to realize His presence as I should, and I need to sense His heavenly hand on my shoulder in an extra special way.


In October 2002, I was sitting alone in my college's bookstore, filling out a worksheet on the doctrine of Anthropology for my Senior Seminar class. I was really getting into the subject, and my mind began to ponder all the ways this creative world reflects our Creator. Suddenly I became unusually frustrated and anxious by my thoughts.


"God," I barely whispered, glancing at the bleak, gray sky out the window. "I know You are always with me, but I wish I could SEE you." Then, just as I let out a sigh, a bright stream of light shone into that window. The sun was breaking through the clouds for the first time that day, and it instantly lifted my spirit.

That stream of light seemed especially for me in that moment. It was like God sent me that little bit of sunshine as if to say, "See, My child, I'm here. Just look around you and you'll see Me everywhere."


I drew up out of my seat and headed out the door of Old Main. Blue sky was slowly pushing away the clouds and the sun's warm rays fell upon my face. I was utterly ashamed by my doubt. It had turned into a beautiful day, with God's name written across every colored leaf, every blade of green grass, and in every chirp of the birds above.


However, God is JUST AS REAL on dreary days of bitter winds and cracking branches as He is on sunny, pleasant days. Perhaps it is on these bleak winter mornings that God wants us to search harder to find Him. He wants US to seek HIM. Jeremiah 29:13 says, "And ye shall seek me, and find me, when ye shall search for me with all your heart." He may want us to find Him in the truth of a verse from His Word. He may want us to find Him in a kind word or smile of a friend. He may even want us to find Him within the attitudes and motives of our own hearts.


Maybe God wants US to bring the sunshine of God's presence to SOMEONE ELSE. Someone who, like I that day in the bookstore, needs a reminder that God is completely real and actively working in this world. Perhaps we as believers can even be the sun peaking through the heavily clouded hearts of unbelievers. We need to keep our ears and eyes open for an opportunity to reveal Christ to someone who is praying, "God, I wish I could SEE You."


Just as that stream of light made a difference in my DAY, God can take the Light we shine to others and make a difference in their ENTIRE LIFE. The potential for that happening lies solely in our allowing God's grace to work within us so that we are better able to accurately and effectively reveal Christ to others.

Is YOUR Light shining?


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"WHAT IS ENOUGH?"


The Christian life...the true path of blessing, of hope, of meaning, of satisfaction, of peace, of endurance. It is a journey. So often I drift from that path and then wonder why I feel lost, stressed, forgotten, uncertain, misunderstood. The world's detour is just easier. More self-gratifying. Less of a sacrifice. The road signs are flashy and enticing. I tend to forget how cunningly deceiving is the opposition. Satan uses the same old trick on me that worked on Eve, in order to plant doubt in my heart.


I hear the same lines over and over: "Just give up. It's not worth the effort. You'll never please God. How could He use you? You need to fix "this" and "this" and "this", etc. before you can be happy and find fulfillment. All you are is talk. You are a Peter: possessing the right words without actions to back them. You are a Jonah: intimidated by the job and swept up in a comfort zone. You are King Saul: initially humble, but losing site of the task by spending too much time in front of the mirror." His hammerings are relentless...but sometimes I find some truth to them.


Because I know how God works...because I know of His mercy, grace, love, acceptance, and power, I don't doubt that He can use me if He really wants to.Yet, when we simply allow God to use us instead of mounting stress upon our lives by trying to accomplish His work in our own strength, it is miraculous how much easier and simpler the task. Not in the sense that the Christian walk, ministry, and family becomes a piece of cake. But it is only when we surrender our goals and plans to His, does our burden suddenly seem lighter. We find that promise in the pages of God's Word.

I desperately long to please God, to do great things for Him. However, at times that is all the further I get—just a desire, a casual prayer. God wants me to commit at one hundred percent. I tell Him, "I want to do 'this' for You…but can I still have 'this' in my life? Can I get at least SOME of the credit? Can I put aside my other responsibilities while I do this for you? Can I back out if I find I'm not equipped for the job?"


Talk really is cheap. I say I WANT to teach Sunday School to impact young lives for Christ. I WANT to share the gospel with people I have contact with--such as the people I work for. I WANT to involve myself in foreign missions. I WANT to write songs and poems and other Christian writing for God's use. I WANT to memorize more Scripture. I WANT to minister to those hurting or need of encouragement. I WANT to go calling with my church. I WANT to refresh myself with the biblical doctrines I say I believe in and hold to. I WANT to find a Christian avenue for my musical abilities. I WANT to responsibly prepare myself for my future career/ministry. Etc., etc. etc…….


I could go on forever with all the things I WANT to do. I believe that is just why I find myself plainly overwhelmed sometimes. There are literally a thousand ministries I could become involved with, a million "hats" I could wear in regards to service to the Lord. And yet, all God asks of me is to serve Him where He has placed me with the task He has given me to do at THIS MOMENT.

God might not have me lead someone to the Lord today, but He does want me to mirror His image to others and to be a faithful witness. God might not have me venture off to Africa on a missions trip this summer, but He can place certain missionaries on my heart to consistently pray for. I might not become a well-known Christian writer, but God certainly has called me to use my words and lips to praise Him, even if none of it ever reaches paper or another's eye. It is still praise, even which consists merely of fragmented verse and awkward melody simply scripted within the quiet sanctuary of my heart.


God has given me abundant ministry right where I am, along with the capabilities to complete them well. I just need to realize that since I can't do it all, I must still remember to always be faithful to--by Him--do what I can.


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JONATHAN MARTIN CONCERT (Granada, MN 03/06/05)

I learned something VERY crucial this past weekend--you all NEED to get out to a Jonathan Martin solo concert as soon as possible! Check out his KEWL website: www.jonathanmartin.org.

Jonathan is PHENOMENAL in concert!!! He is an incredible storyteller, too! I do miss THE MARTINS as a trio, but Jonathan sings some classic Martins songs with his sisters' vocals in the background. It would be nice to see the siblings get back together and sing, but I think they are focusing on separate ministries as well as their growing families. They are ALL still very much singing, though!

I don't know about the other concert settings on his tour, but on Sunday he visited a fairly small country church in Southwestern Minnesota. He brought along his wife, Dara and daughter, Olivia.

I had never met Jonathan in person before but, and I'm serious, you'll never meet a more "regular guy" on the Homecoming tour! He is extremely candid and undoubtedly sincere, both in singing, storytelling, and just chatting!

Jonathan does not yet have a marketed solo CD like his sisters, but that's mostly because he's been busy producing for other artists. He does, however, sell a solo CD of some of the songs he's produced, which is only available at his concerts. Otherwise, he sings primarily regular "Martins" songs we all know, with the vocals of Judy and Joyce in the background. Again, hearing him sing live is AMAZING.

The crowd at this country church couldn't have exceeded 120 people, and the intimate, personal setting was enjoyed by all. It was the most friendly church I think I've ever visited! To start off the evening, Jonathan led us in worship with a couple of well-konwn P & W songs. As he continued the concert, he interspersed stories about his family.

In addition to Olivia, who is 2 1/2 and a baby on the way, he has twin sons and another daughter, both of elementary school age. His twins are extrordinary boys, as they were both born with, I guess you could say, and abnormality. (Yet, what is normal, anyway?) Michael has a glass eye, and Taylor lives with Cerebral Palsy.

Apparently, Taylor is quick-witted and laid back. He's not supposed to take his eye out or he gets in trouble, but a couple weeks ago Jonathan heard his daughter, Halea's scream coming from her bedroom. He rushed in to see what happened, only to see Halea pointing at something in her dollhouse. Upon closer examination, Jonathan noticed that it was his son's glass eye! When he confronted Taylor about the incident Taylor paused for a moment, then matter-of-factly stated, "I thought I'd keep an eye on Halea's dolls!"

Needless to say, Jonathan had the crowd ROARING when he told that true story!

Jonathan also told about how he and his sisters began singing and then how they made it to radio and, finally, their debut on the Homecoming video, "Precious Memories". I'm sure most of you all know the story about Mark bringing the Martin siblings to the taping and Gloria listening to them sing "He Leadeth Me" a capella in the WOMEN'S bathroom!!! That's all it took, 'cause God knew we'd love 'em!

Sometime after one of the soul-stirring songs such as "Pass Me Not", "I Will Go The Distance", and "Healer Of My Heart" (among others), my cell phone went off. Leave it to me to not only sit in the FRONT row, but to forget to turn off my phone in a CONCERT! I have a really corny Caribbean Island theme for my ring tone, and, on top of it all, the thing was buried somewhere at the bottom of my purse where I didn't find it until the entire song had played out! The only thing I was thinking is that, "I am SO glad Jonathan is in-between songs!"

Regardless, as the Caribbean theme continued to flow out of my purse as I frantically rummaged around to find my phone, Jonathan looked straight at me and said, "Oh that's nice...somebody is getting a phone call! Tell them "hi" for me! Oh, and ask them why they aren't at the concert!" By then I had the entire congregation convinced that God had just created a new shade of crimson because that was the color of my face at that moment! It was humiliating, but I managed to laugh with Jonathan and the rest of the crowd.

Who would have guessed my phone would have gone off? I'm not THAT popular! If you must know who was the mysterious caller, it was a job prospect I had not yet spoken with. I got their message on my voice mail on the drive home!

So then after the concert when I finally got my turn to talk with Jonathan, Dara took a picture of us together. Apparently, Jonathan didn't think that was sufficient, so he had me grab my cell phone and have his wife take a second, more humerous picture. He was like, "You need to remember this for the rest of your life! Your phone went off at MY concert!" Reluctantly, I agreed, but that was pretty funny, too.

Since I was the only visitor (besides the Martins) at the concert, the church extended an extra special welcome to me, which I wasn't planning on at all. They were just awesome! Some of the ladies had prepared a small potluck dinner for Jonathan and Dara before their drive home, and so I was invited into the kitchen to share some turkey sandwiches, cookies, and fruit. It was a lot of fun just hanging out around the center island in the kitchen. Even though this was an E Free church, they must have heard Jonathan was Baptist and, therefore, would appreciate an ample supply of treats!

Olivia, their daughter, kept running in and out with a cup of water she had filled herself at the drinking fountain. Of course at 2, spilling is a requirement, no matter what the liquid is. Jonathan and Dara are very lucky to have a daughter who travels so well and is so charming and outgoing with strangers! She is the cutest thing, and you would be able to agree! She's got this dainty little "Mickey Mouse" voice, and she definitely has the look of a typical "Martin"! What a sweetie!

Did you know that if you eat a strawberry and a grape at the same time, it tastes like there is sugar on your strawberry? I didn't try it, but Jonathan swears by it. I'm tellin' ya, he's hilarious!

I left before I wore out my welcome, which included a 2.5 hour drive back up to the Twin Cities. The Martins, however, still had a 4 hour drive down to Des Moines, Iowa. (I'm sure Olivia was out after 5 minutes of listening to the hum of the motor!) What I thought was going to be a fun concert of inspiring music turned out to be that, as well as a very memorable evening!

So that's why I'm telling you that you all MUST go see Jonathan Martin when he is in your area. You will LOVE it!!!!!!!!


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Saturday, April 2, 2005


Part of a lengthly discussion based on the question of whether the differences in the Body of Christ (differing beliefs and practices that separate denominations) are really God's idea; whether God even intended for these differences so that He might better use the diversity to reach more groups of individuals? Why are there differences, and why does that matter???


My response:

I do believe we, as individuals, need to be good stewards of God's Word...to the best of our ability, "rightly dividing the Word of truth". We can't just ride on someone's (or any denomination's) coat-tails. We must be Bereans and dig into the passages for ourselves.

Too often we twist Scripture and we don't even realize it. We say we believe certain principles and facts of the Bible, but when we go about our daily lives, we stretch or make exceptions for these principles in order to tailor our perceived "needs" or even our fleshly desires. Nobody is exempt, because we are all still living in a sinful body, among a sinful Enemy, and within a sinful world. Face it, today's philosophy is a focus on self. I don't foresee that to change anytime before Christ returns.


The Bible is a lot more simple than we, at times, approach it. God intended one interpretation, and we, in our ignorance, have have tried to concoct our own doctrinal recipies, until little by little the smaller differences become bigger and much more separating. More and more people start going along with them because they sound either convincincing or pleasing.


God isn't into hiding the Truth from us. It is our own fault that His Word has been changed and twisted and misinterpreted. Somewhere along the line we began listening to PEOPLE rather than GOD. We believe only what is convenient, and many actually choose a denomenation based on that faulty reasoning, whether they will admit it or not.

I believe the Holy Spirit is more grieved due to lack of unity of His Body, than He is about the misinterpretation of the Bible. He has promised to preseve His words, and I believe that till the end. What we can't change, though, is the many opportunities lost because the Body of Christ isn't unified and, thus, working to its full potential. God is still sovereign, and will continue to fulfill His plan, regardless of our mistakes, but can you imagine the revival if we were in better agreement?!?!?!?!


I don't know about you, but I'm looking forward to the Millennium!!!!!!


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Sunday, April 3, 2005


The discussion continues, as it broadens to the catch phrase, "Shouldn't we all just get along?" (meaning, in the Christian realm: Isn't JESUS the only thing that really matters?


My response (Basically a refute of Eccumenism): Disregarding all other differences for a minute, I submit that issues directly impacting the eternally vital matter of SALVATION cannot and must not be overlooked. What one believes about grace, works, faith, forgiveness, lordship, etc. cannot be taken by matter of preference or personal interpretation. As was mentioned before, not everybody can be correct. God is not the author of confusion.


Some denominations believe in salvation by grace through faith; others tack on something additional, such as one must be baptized as part of a salvation process. Some churches teach eternal security; others, that one must repeatedly receive justification as they continue to sin. Some churches preach lordship should be a prerequesite to salvation, while others preach that it takes place only after the Holy Spirit "moves in". Some equate lordship with sanctification as one event, while others will single out sanctification as a gradual and variable life transformation. Some churches teach priesthood of the believer; other congregations must confess sins through the mediator of a priest.


I am but scratching the surface here, but these and other such issues rightly separate denominations for the very reason that they affect the SOULS of mankind.

Matters such as contemporary vs. traditional worship, elders vs. deacons, tythes vs. offerings, blue carpet vs. red carpet (you get the idea) are minimal in light of a person's standing before God. I agree, even some of these "smaller" differences need to be considered, at least when deciding upon an individual place of worship, but they do not matter as greatly as the doctrines of sin and salvation.


There is but one Gospel message, and just because many denominations claim the name of Christ, it does not mean some do not add or take away from that Gospel. When that is the case, it is a false gospel, and its followers are deceived.


Grated, no denomination can claim perfection. I attend a certain denomination based on doctrinal conviction, but there are many problems within its relational "circles" that I do not biblically agree with. However, these problems do NOT affect salvation, at least at present, and can be tolerated.


I guess it comes down to the difference between the terms "fellowship" and "cooperation". I believe I can fellowship with another brother or sister in Christ who belongs to another denomination that preaches the Gospel. Yet I believe God has called us to separate from those who preach a false Gospel, whether or not they claim Christ. To cooperate (as in participating in any type of collaborative ministry) with any such group would be to associate my beliefs with theirs, and I just cannot do that in good conscience.


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Thursday, April 7, 2005


"TO WHOM DO WE PRAY?"


Some informal ponderings....


Jesus prayed to the Father. Silly as it sounds, He didn't pray to Himself, and yet He was God.


I don't know if it is necessarily wrong to pray to Jesus or the Spirit, since both are, in essence, Deity. However, Jesus is our mediator (to the Father). And the Spirit prays separately for us (again, to the Father) when we don't have the words to articulate.

So, it seems to me that the receiving end, ultimately, is God the Father, whether it is we who are praying, the Spirit, or Christ. The Father is the only aspect of the Trinity that doesn't pray to someone.


Perhaps it is that, while all three aspects of the Trinity are all God, they each have separate roles (just as the Body of Christ?). They each might partake in the matter of the prayers of saints, but from different angles or in slightly different aspects.


For example, I tend to hear others pray, "Lord God, may Your Holy Spirit move in the hearts of those who need salvation" rather than, "Holy Spirit, please convict the hearts of those who need salvation". In other words, a prayer to the Father FOR the Holy Spirit, not a prayer directly TO the Holy Spirit.


Not that I'm assuming it is wrong to pray to the Spirit, but every time someone in Scripture prayed, it was always in the context of the will of the FATHER. "THY will be done." The answer and/or result of prayer always seems to come from Him. With that in mind, if it is the FATHER'S will that we seek, wouldn't we, then, follow suit and pray TO the Father?

It was Jesus who prayed, "Father, forgive them...." Couldn't Jesus have forgiven them all by Himself? Wherein lie the source of His power???


Doesn't the old hymn resound, "Jesus saves! Jesus saves!"? Is it really Jesus who saves, or is it the Father? Or is it that we are saved BY the Father, THROUGH the Son?

Are our songs now incorrect??


What is too broad? What is too nit-picky??? Rather, what is the line between discernment and legalism, in the face of this topic? Is this an issue that we can merely write off as a verbiage technicality, or are we held accountable to seek to understand this concept, that we might more accurately direct our prayers?


Hmmmm......


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Friday, April 8, 2005


"Pray TO the Holy Spirit?" (The discussion continues...)


In our human and finite minds, there are just some aspects of God we will never fully understand. After doing a quick study, I found a verse, John 14:13, I believe, that quotes Jesus encouraging the diciples that if they ask (pray to) HIM anything in HIS NAME, that will HE do, that the father may be glorified in the son" (3rd person paraphrase mine). So it seems to me that it is appropriate to pay to Jesus, the Son. We claim Jesus is our Lord, and there are COUNTLESS examples of prayers directed, "Lord...."


So yes, after some study I think it is appropriate to pray to the Son.


Yet, think about it. While all three aspects of the Trinity are EQUAL, in that they are all Deity, they all do have separate roles. Like I said, similar to the Body of Christ. We are all believers/children/servants of God, but we have separate roles and purposes to fill.

Ok, in the context of prayer:


What is the role of the Father? To carry out His will.


Side note....The FATHER provides answers to prayers in accordance with HIS will. There are no phrases in Scripture that anything is according to the will of the Holy Spirit, or Jesus. Keep in mind, I realize they are all equally God. Yet, then why is the reference always the "will of the FATHER"?


What is the role of the Son? To sit at the right hand of the Father and intercede for the saints.


What is the role of the Holy Spirit? To indwell believers, provide comfort, convict of sins to confess, guidance, Scripturally enlighten, teach how to pray, etc.


Now, the question we must ask is, does the Father oversee the roles and workings of the Son and the Spirit? I would say that He does. Even though they are equal (I have not forgotten that truth yet!) their roles are not equal, in that they are different.


For example, as far as the day of Christ's return goes, the Son is dependent upon the Father, who is the only aspect of the Trinity who knows when that event will tanspire.

The Father also oversees the role of the Holy Spirit. The Spirit cannot indwell a nonbeliever because without the stamp of Christ, they are seen as enemies by the Father.

Also, the analogy of a father/son relationship cannot be ignored. Certainly there is a degree of direction given by an earthly father to his earthly son. Yet they are not equal, other than they are both human.


What is different with the God the Father and Jesus the Son relationship is that both ARE deity. They are, in essence, equal. But that's just it--their ESSENCE is equal, NOT their ROLES. While the Father, Son, and Spirit all share the same personality, character, and will, they each have individual purposes and carry out very different tasks.


Can we ever fully understand this? How can the Trinity, being equal, in a certain sense, also be separate in another sense? I think this is a matter we must approach with the knowledge that His ways are higher than our ways. It all makes perfect sense to God (to the Father, Son, Spirit, or all 3! ), but we are not omnicient. We are capable of understanding only a limited amount of knowledge. I believe that is for our good. We could not handle knowing all, being fallen creatures.


The other verse that comes to mind is the one that states, "The secret things belong to God." All that really matters is that HE has the Trinity figured out, and all He asks of us is to be good stewards of His word, as we trust, obey, and depend on Him. That's all prayer really comes down to anyway--dependence upon God. Yet, I don't think that gives us the liberty to act without conscious study and application of the Word.


After looking around the Net for a minute, I found this quote from the Christian Apologetics & Research Ministry (and I post this because I am genuinely curious and because what they have to say sounds convincing. Not that it is my conviction yet, because I have not studied it at length):

"If it is okay to pray to the Father, and the Son, is it alright to pray to the Holy Spirit? The answer would be yes because the Holy Spirit is also God. Nevertheless, we never see an instance in the Bible where anyone prays to the Holy Spirit? Why is that? The answer is that the Holy Spirit does not bear witness of Himself. He bears witness of the Son (John 15:26). But still, we can pray to the Spirit because we are also called into fellowship with the Spirit. 2 Cor. 13:14 says, "The grace of the Lord Jesus Christ, and the love of God, and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit, be with you all."


Contrastly, here is a simple explanation by Bill Bright, answering the question, 'To whom do we pray?': "We pray to the Father in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ through the ministry of the Holy Spirit. when we pray to the Father, our prayers are accepted by Jesus Christ and interpreted to God the Father by the Holy Spirit."


Romans 8:26, 27, 34--"Likewise the Spirit also helpeth our infirmities: for we know not what we should pray for as we ought: but the Spirit itself maketh intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered. 27 And he that searcheth the hearts knoweth what is the mind of the Spirit, because he maketh intercession for the saints according to the will.... Who is he that condemneth? It is Christ that died, yea rather, that is risen again, who is even at the right hand of God, who also maketh intercession for us."


If it sounds like I haven't come to a conclusion about whether or not we are to pray TO the Spirit--you are right. I haven't! All I know is, the Holy Spirit is involved in the matter of prayer. That much, as far as my present grasp on the issue, is certain.


Too much thinking for one day! Will ponder it again tomorrow.


**********


Saturday, April 9, 2005


I think it IS important to study out issues like these, as we are encouraged to model the Berean church. Yet, prayer is a form of worship, and with any form of worship, it's all about our heart attitude.


God isn't going to turn a deaf ear just because we might not be able to explain or reason out the details of prayer. If our hearts draw near to God, He promises to draw near to us.

I do believe that the more knowledgeable and well-studied we are on any certain biblical topic, the more we are held accountable for. "To whom much is given, much is required."

BUT the MOST important thing is that we humble ourselves with childlike faith. If we do that, He will hear, and He will answer.


**********


"PHONY CHRISTIANITY" -May 2005


The discussions never cease! :) I am surprised at how defensive people get about this topic, even to the point of getting off the point of the original question. The fact is that there ARE believers who put on a Christian face on Sunday, but lead an ungodly life the rest of the week. And, like you said in your message, we all have those tendencies within us. However, there are people who are basically living a lie by pretending to be super-spiritual.


I thought I would include part of this thread, as the discussion actually caused ME to grow through having to think this thing out. I was forced to examine the motives within my own Christian walk.


Annonymous poll Q: "What I see alot, especially in my church, is people who say they belive in God but when it comes to actually doing something besides going to church, nobody seems to want to do this. How come they talk about it but they don't live it?


My responses:

3-letter word: S-I-N.
4-letter word: L-A-Z-Y.
5-letter word: P-R-i-D-E.


These are just some of my thoughts...I really think the underlying problem is that people possess a tremendous lack of faith, which is sin ("...whatsoever is not of faith is sin.). Pride results from that lack of faith or could even be an aspect of it. If we don't trust God in the little things of life, we aren't going to trust Him to work through us where the rubber meets the road--in the REAL world where Christians are laughed at and scoffed. People want to be accepted by all. They don't want to suffer hurt egos. That's pride square in the face. We need not be afraid to stand up for our faith.


But then...how can a person stand up for something he doesn't have??


If only these people would realize that it is the Holy Spirit who does the work, not purely themselves, then perhaps walking the walk would become less stressful and/or frightening. If they REALLY knew who God is, living a godly life might even seem...COOL!


That's another thing, these people have not taken the time out to develop that vital personal relationship with God--through prayer and reading of His Word, in order to cultivate a genuine desire to please Him. We aren't going to follow somebody we don't really know, right? Why bother if they don't know the purpose for it? I believe it's the same way with Christ.


And then no matter how diciplined a Christian we may think we are, we ALL must battle laziness. We get so busy doing "stuff" (good, bad, or neutral) that we suddenly find we have forgotten the MOST important thing--living for Christ. Being a disciple is costly. It's sacrificial. It's tiring. It's draining. But it's worth it.


Still, all too often we focus on what's on our plate at any given moment, failing to look at it in the scope of eternity. Is this activity or project going to count for eternity? Is it allowing me a means of sharing my faith? Is it, God forbid, CONTRADICTORY to my faith? Is it making good use of the time God has given me? Is it self-centered, or ministry-driven? Is my motive based on the "easy, comfortable path"? These are questions we all must ask ourselves, save we find we are losing focus of God in daily life.


Sunday Christians (meaning, JUST Sunday Christians) reveal to me that:

A. They are unsaved.
B. They are prideful.
C. both


In these instances, Christians put on their Sunday best (face, clothes, AND attitude), but then they take it off the rest of the week. If they are not saved, the "Sunday best" is completely fake. If they ARE saved, they have a lack of faith AND they don't want others to know their weekday struggles. They talk the talk because they think to be Christian, you must be perfect, when that is actually a ridiculous farse. But too many Christians believe it. And when you have a congregation full of prideful Christians, you have no growth, no outreach, no depth of ministry, and no TRUE fellowship. There may be a million ministry programs, and there may be potlucks galore, but most often these churches will become legalistic based on what they, as a congregation, have slowly formulated and accepted to be right and wrong for a Christian. Nevermind what the BIBLE says. It's just God's Word.


The saddest thing is, people are ok with this standard. They are just fine with going to church on Sunday and trying to "1-up" during testimony time, and then facing Monday morning by cursing God rather than blessing Him. People are content to have their ticket for Heaven and that is it. But how many rich BLESSINGS are they missing from living this brief life side by side with Jesus! To daily feed on His love and grace and power and strength and mercy. To offer petitions to Him, to depend on His promises, to joyfully carry the burdens of others, and to experience the exhilleration of leading someone to that very same, rewarding relationship with Christ! True Christianity could never be put into a box, yet so many so-called believers try to by fulfilling "pew-warming duty" on Sunday morning. What a depressing Christian life that is!


I like Mark Lowry's summarization of the Christian life: It's INTERESTING! Or how about Steven Curtis Chapman's: "This is the GREAT ADVENTURE!" Lemme tell you, an adventure, interesting or not, is not one steady course. It's filled with ups and downs, twists and turns. It's about struggles, defeats, and victories. It's too bad so many Christians feel they can't be transparent about the places where they are weak. It's part of human life. It's part of living in a sin-infected world. No one of us is exempt. Yet so many try to cover up the difficulties by putting on a happy church face...only for it to have surfaced by the time they have discoverd their Sunday roast burning in the oven! The Body of Christ should be a haven of individuals where believers go to believers to give and receive encouragement. Hopefully that takes place at church on Sunday, but it should be even more evident during the week when we're not sitting in the choir singing "Amazing Grace"!


This is a tough world we live in, and if we aren't clearly noted as Christians by the way others perceive us, we better examine our hearts. The Bible is clear when it says, "By their fruit ye shall know them". It also says, "From out of the HEART the mouth speaks." At THEN we see that God commands, "Thou shalt not lie." If we are voicing certain things our hearts are not yet ready to embrace and carry out as truth--and are OK with that!--then we are not only deceiving others, but we are deceiving ourselves and we are hindering the authentic, blessed relationship Christ desperately longs to have with us. Probably the worst lies we tell are the ones we cause ourselves to believe.


I am the first to say I am NOT a perfect Christian. I am not prideful of that fact, nor can I deny it. The fact is, we as Christians must continue to live in our sinful flesh until we meet Christ. Some days I do not feel like a Christian, and I just don't care what other people think about that. Other days I try to mask my problems instead of sharing them with others so they can help me deal with them in the power of the Spirit. And there are still other days that I have to humble myself before the throne of grace for just a smidgen of faith to get me through the day.


And let me tell you, on those days, when I must depend on God the most, I find I am able to more genuinely live out my faith; to "walk the talk", so to speak. That is because relying upon the Lord demands I understand that it is only through His grace that my faith can grow, or that it even exists at all! My focus is on HIM, not on ME.


I cannot specifically answer the question of why people seem to lead hypocritical Christian lives. There are a myriad of answers, but one answer seems clear--SIN. And although I am saved (praise God!), I am a sinner, too.


Lets pray that God would rain down upon each other an annointing of His grace, that we might live up to such an honorable name as Christian--"little Christ".


*****


Cont.: To comment on some of the other contributions on this thread: I do believe we ought not to be boastful about our works (ministries). We should never seek the praise of men, but only God's glory. Yet that should NEVER be the excuse of anyone to not OPENLY live their faith. How are we to be "salt" and "light" if we did that???


As far as the witnessing issue, there are many people who seem to be "working undercover" for God. We are all commanded to evangelize; it just depends on the avenue and approach the Lord calls us to. Sometimes different circumstances dictate what those tactics may be (whether prayer, friendliness, helping othes, or outright sharing the gospel, among others), but the point is, we ALL need to be engaged in the process in SOME way. That doesn't make anyone's part more noble than anothers (simply because it is ultimately a working of the Holy Spirit),. And of course, we cannot rightly judge another's spiritual condition or maturity based on any outward act. Christianity is a matter of the HEART. Period.


The point is, it IS evident that there are Chistians (or people who only label themselves Christians) who really DO NOT participate in the true Christian life. There ARE people who go to church on Sunday and never open their Bibles the rest of the week. I never hear them speak of God's working in their life (which should be an automatic response if there is really a change); not necessarily a full-blown testimony of sorts, but if we are children of the living God, He is going to spill from our lives and our lips regardless of our personality! (I am hardly an outspoken individual on many fronts!)


I really do think there is something to be said about the verse that says, "By their fruit ye shall know them." A believer does not need to go out on a witnessing fenzy or have their Bibles open or knees bent in prayer every moment of the day to prove to me they are truly Christian or at least a GROWING Christian. God's grace and love should be written all over our faces and expressed down to the most routine of daily tasks and encounters. We are to be SET APART; people should sense that something is different about us. Granted, it is wrong to judge another, but I think we ought to be able to recognize a brother or sister by interacting with them.


I bet there are many of my former high school classmates that never knew I was a Christian. I was saved. But I can honestly say I was not living for the Lord. I did everything "right". I went to church, to youth group, I prayed and read my Bible (though sporadically), and on the RARE occasion I would share my faith (even though I cannot think of an instance off the top of my head--how pathetic is THAT!)


Simply, I was JUST a "Sunday Christian". I did the minimum that I assumed was "expected" for a Christian, but I wasn't truly living for the Lord, both inwardly AND outwardly. I regret that. It IS true that God sanctifies us throughout life. and that we mature and gain wisdom with age, but I had Christian friends in high school who didn't necessarily shout out their faith from the roof tops, but whom EVERYBODY knew were believers. I was envious of them, but only because I knew I was guilty...most likely out of laziness and, really, out of selfishness.


I almost wish I could rewind time so that I might have been more greatly used by God during that season of life. I mean, I might not have carried my Bible around to class, but I could have at least written my term papers to reflect my morals and my faith. I might not have lead student Bible studies, but I could have prayed for my fellow students as well as my teachers. I might not have quoted verses of Scripture to my unsaved friends, but I could have at least testified to the fact that God is good! That's easy enough! But I didn't. Even though I was a Christian, I was silent on the outside, and empty on the inside.

Hmmm....now what was that one verse??? Oh yeah: "...forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before, I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus" (Philippians 3:13b-14).

While we ought not to dwell on past failures, I believe we are to at least learn from them. I my case, my adolescent and teen years reveal a stagnant, unfruitful Christian. I did not know the joy of the Lord because my focus was on myself: my priorities, my comfort level, my reputation, etc. My focus was not on being a disciple of Jesus, nor was it on proclaiming Jesus within my everyday life.


When I read such commands in Scripture today, I cannot, in good conscience, ignore them, or try to convince myself that they don't apply to my personality or ability. Well, doesn't God's Word say that He "hath chosen the FOOLISH things of the world to confound the wise; and [He] hath chosen the WEAK things of the world to confound the things which are mighty" (I Corinthians 1:27).


I see myself in that verse, both as one who is foolish as well as one who is weak. I often feel inadequate to serve God because I look at how other people minister and perceive their service as higher than mine. (Which is one of Satan's best lies!) Little do I know that God WANTS us to feel inadequate. If we felt equipped in and of ourselves to live a true Christian life we would be praising our own accomplishments instead of giving GOD the glory for what HE has ENABLED us to do. The attitude of comparing ourselves to another is wrong; yet, too often I find myself guilty of that very thing.


The truth is that God looks at our HEARTS, not our actions. If we truly desire to please God and live for Him, we will be rewarded for the shortest of prayers on another's behalf, just as sure as will be the person who spends his whole life leading thousands to Christ on a foreign mission field.


So can we really really judge a person's walk with Christ by what they do or say? No. Yet, can we deny that carnal Christians do not exist? No. I think it is safe to say that we have ALL walked out of step with the Lord on different occasions and in different seasons of life. That doesn't mean we are condemned or that we are unsaved. NOTHING shall separate us from God's love, and NOTHING shall pluck us out of the Father's hand. Yet, we cannot ignore the fact that there ARE people in our churches this very week who leave their Christianity in their Sunday pew.


Isn't that kind of what the church of Laodicea was all about? Lukewarm in their Christianity? Sounds like they were a bunch of "Sunday Christians" to me! They did everything "right", yet God had issues with them. Instead, He desired them to have had been either hot or cold. One reason being lukewarm is so dangerous is because it reveals complacency among Christians, which sends a mixed message to the world, distorting the definition of true Christianity.


Sadly, when the unsaved meet a lukewarm Christian, they will not notice a difference so as to desire change in their own lives. To be a "hot" Christian does not mean we need to change our personality; we simply need to let our faith infiltrate every aspect of our lives. Church is great, but it is definitely not the only place we express our Christianity. People who follow that rule are, indeed hypocritites when it comes down to their Christian life. When we speak of our faith on Sunday, we better have actions to back it up on Monday.

I really think this is something we all need to guard ourselves against, lest we fall into that trap ourselves. There's nothing wrong with ministering quietly; it is when our lives fail to reflect Christ that there is a problem.

I'm not saying it's our place to judge; I'm only saying it's a reality, and that it can happen to anyone. If we want to be effective for Christ INDIVIDUALLY, we need to make sure we are truly living our faith. If we want to be effective for Christ CORPORATELY, we need to serve among a body of believers who are also genuinely living their faith. It's easy to tell if a congregation is sincere, and it is easy to tell if they are not.


We can't do much more than to be an example to those who are not living out their faith. We can admit they are out there, but I know we cannot change them. By praying for such a believer and/or by being an encouragement (including being sensitive and aware of the possibility that they may be intimidated by growing Christians), God just might prick their hearts and jumpstart their walk with Him. We have that hope, at least.


My MAIN concern, however, is the sincerity of MY OWN Christian walk, with the prayer that God's grace will continue to santify and consecrate me for His service.


**********

When God Takes Over

Thoughts from a cancer patient

by Dave Mason

Aug 8, 2006

Three weeks ago, I was shoeing horses. Then a routine visit to my doctor changed everything: he discovered I have widespread cancer. Suddenly I am confronted with death, though not for the first time.

I almost died within weeks of my birth, in July 1938, at the Bruderhof community’s farm in Cotswold, England. A visiting surgeon arranged emergency surgery on my stomach. This left a scar on my abdomen —and, once I was old enough to appreciate how close to death I had come, an unwavering conviction that God had a purpose for my life. It would be my job to discover it.

I grew up on a Shropshire farm, during World War II. We children hoed sugar beets and dug potatoes. At fifteen, I quit school and became a shepherd. Later, I learned metalwork.

The door to my parents’ home was always open. Their love for their fellowmen—especially down-and-outs and misfits—planted within me the belief that people are called to brotherhood.

But it took a young woman named Hanna to help this belief grow into a living faith in God and Jesus. From the moment we met, we knew we belonged together—not fairytale love, but something God-given. Through her childlike, sunny nature, Jesus began to come into my life.

We married in December 1962. Hanna, a seamstress by training, was a nurse at heart and selflessly spent countless nights at the bedside of a terminally ill neighbor. Her faith meant love in action.

In September 1977, Hanna and I celebrated the safe arrival of our eighth child, a girl. Still hospitalized one week later, she complained of a headache and asked for her doctor. I went to fetch him. When I returned, Hanna was in a coma. She died four hours later, of a brain aneurism.

For years, the sight of a mother holding a baby would bring it all back…

In time, and through God’s grace, I found Roswith, a woman willing to marry me and be a mother to my children, to help me raise them in the fear of God. Rather than push Hanna’s memory aside, Roswith joined me in keeping the children’s mother alive for them; they set a place for her at the breakfast table each morning. When two children were born to us, we felt that God’s love had closed the ring of our family.

Then in 1983 my daughter Esther was diagnosed with osteosarcoma, a bone cancer. Not even the amputation of her left leg could stop its spread. She died six years to the day after her mother, and at almost the same hour.

About ten years later, my daughter Irene faced cancer, too; she had been married hardly four years, and had two children. Thankfully, she survived, and later lived through a brain aneurism as well.

Despite these trials, Roswith and I have shared nearly 28 years together. Then last month, specialists discovered she has non-Hodgkins lymphoma, the same disease that killed her mother. This news hit me like a blow, as I realized I might once more be widowed. The doctors speak of “buying time”, but they say they cannot cure her. When you lose your life-partner through death, part of you is torn away. It is not simply that “death parts them”; two souls are ripped apart.

All the more, it stunned us to learn of my illness. For both of us, time is running out. “God, take over,” is my prayer. I am grateful for medical help in easing the pain that I know will intensify. But I do not hang on to hopes of being cured. My doctors admit there is little they can do—the cancer is too far advanced. I feel sure, though, that the more I entrust myself to God, the more I submit my will to his, the more he can do with my life.

The apostle Paul prayed to God for freedom from pain, but was told, “My grace is sufficient for you; for my power is made perfect in weakness” (2 Corinthians 12:9). It seems to me that I was born for this. Looking back, my best days have been those during which I suffered most, when it seemed God spoke harshest, and I was driven to my knees. Times of suffering stand out like jewels, pointing to Eternity.

Death is a bridge that everyone has to cross, but Christ promises everlasting life. It is as simple as that. In a way, to face death is a freeing and a victory. We cling to this earth—and rightly so—and yet we all have to let go of it. God rules over everything in the whole universe, and the victory belongs to him.

Looking back on my life, and looking forward, I take courage from the words of an old song: “Jesus came to save his children as through storms they roam. Leave the wreckage; look to him, then: He will lead you home!”

*****

Responses to this article can be sent to:

The Bruderhof Foundation, Inc., PO Box 903 Rifton, New York 12471